I help couples communicate better, feel safer & learn to care for each other -again.

It is hard to connect & feel joy. You long for spring, relief, and somebody to understand what it really is like for you. You never have time to just be together and feel loved. Maybe you feel like hiding in a cave. You are normally able to balance the demands. Nobody even knows, because you just put on your happy face. Yet, your patience is on a short leash. At times, you regret what comes out of your mouth.

We can learn from others' mistakes and successes. Learn to avoid those traps and pitfalls.

Are you worried that you cannot make your needs clear, except by getting mad? You hate the fighting and struggle to make communication work. You have tried to read books and ask for advice. You are out of ideas, and really don’t want to be separated. You don’t want to hurt the kids or break your vows. Yet, just giving space or trying to stay busy is not helping either. You are looking for somebody with a way to get through.

You have come to the right place.

I can help by providing a safe place to explore and figure out what makes sense now. We will use various proven techniques to determine the goals and strategies to help you decide the next best step. I begin by teaching you both to listen with “different ears”, and learning not to jump to assumptions about what each is meaning until you have asked what was meant. We can work on rebuilding trust and setting boundaries.

I find it very important to help couples to see what the real issues are, and less about fixing or taking sides. The first step is to establish the goals and agendas each of you has, without allowing bullying or shaming in sessions. To promote real conversations with appropriate validation of strengths and that attraction that brought you together in the first place.

Having to be totally honest and forthright can be very difficult, and takes time. Soon you will have proof that we are really working together. The short version is each must determine:

“What’s in it for me?”

Then we can truly explore and discover new ways of relating and making it possible for each of you to get your needs met. We will discover & establish appropriate boundaries so you can enjoy your relationship and resolve conflicts without causing permanent harm.

In order to work with me as a couple, I will need to do a free 15-minute consultation with each partner separately. Then we will meet together. At times I may ask you to fill out questionnaires or do some writing homework (watching videos or reading books, reading helpful blogs, etc.) I will work with you on timing and process to make it accessible to any style learner.